Death, dying, unrelenting despair,
Doing our best to care
For those who are critically ill.
Another code, another rapid.
Patients who didn’t choose to be here, many held against their will
Through years of chronic illness.
Massive transfusions, resuscitations, pressors—
Little hope remains.
A patient with Parkinson’s lies in his bed,
Here, like most, for shock.
Three units, a chest tube, and an insulin drip,
Still suffering, complaining of pain with visible dread,
Presumably wondering what more.
I see his lips dry, cracking.
I offer Vaseline, to which he complies,
And there a smile—a glimmer of hope comes to a head.
A conversation about his dogs, his wife.
For a second, he imagines his life
Outside of this unit, where amazing medical feats take place every hour, every day.
Though sometimes lost, it’s the little things
That keep the despair at bay.
Dr. Ayer
Dr. Ayer is a PGY-2 family medicine resident physician at Prisma Health Midlands in Columbia, South Carolina.