Have you ever wondered what it’s like to feel lost?
I often think of this sitting idle in front of my computer, but busy still
Exhausted by the machinations of systems of care in disrepair
Purposeful misery, hopeful agony, jubilant optimism muted by rugged indifference
I thought as I would come into my own as a doctor, I would feel certain…
However, the more certain I believe, the more lost I am…
Lost amidst expectations, challenges, and humanity on the edge of ripping itself apart
Nothing really matters is my mind’s voice
I wonder if chanting will help
Maybe prayer
Maybe silence
Maybe care
I think wandering onwards in this wilderness of technology, unfaithful declarations of peace, doublespeak, thought crimes, you name it…
I am certain of the uncertainty that my humanity desires for anchoring, I thought medicine would be the place I would find it, but even this shore is not suitable to rest for the time…
Journey onwards, mariner, wearing the albatross of a world bubbling with shameful complicity and silence for all the injustices, genocides, suffering, greed, destruction
Keep walking, lost but alive
Dr. Farooq
Dr. Farooq is an assistant professor of medicine at Albert Einstein College of Medicine, Montefiore Health System in New York.